Clouded Judgment

I want to apologize now to all my slaves for the past month. In that time, I decided to move back in with my mom to try and repair our relationship. At first when she found out about this part of my life, she was very critical, saying that nothing in this world is free and that one day I will pay the price with my life when one of you gets mad that I won't have a sexual relationship with you.

Her opinion changed when she saw the amount of packages stacked at the door every day. She would hear me rant about some of the conversations I had with the fake slaves, and would tell me her views on Female Supremacy....she's more wicked than I am apparently. Well at the end of last week, she started suggesting things to me. Such as putting items on my wish list that she wanted, and by asking you all to finance a vacation for us.

It was yesterday that I realized how wrong this all was and that this needed to come to an end. My mom and I have never gotten along, ever since I was younger. Growing up, there was a lot of abuse....emotional & physical...children's services were even called. That's when I started staying with my grandparents. As my grandparents age and their health depleats, I grow concerned with what will happen to me after they're gone. They raised me when my mom was never around, they've paid for everything, even when I have money. But when they are gone and all I have left is my mom, I fear that I will be living on a park bench, or in an alleyway in a cardboard box.

This past month, I decided to try and work on our relationship and that I tried to please her by giving her what she wanted. It was at my birthday party yesterday when I realized that things will never change. Ever since I can remember, my mom has tried her hardest to ruin every one of my birthdays. If the attention isn't on her, or if I'm happy, she has to make everyone else miserable. First of all, she made me pay for everything. I had to shell out over $200 yesterday for a party I never wanted. Well it was just me, her, my grandma and my best friend at Dave & Busters. I was waiting on a male friend of mine. He was on his way but it would take him about 45 minutes to get there. Well my mom started throwing a tantrum because she knows I like him and how badly I wanted to see him. She said she wasn't feeling well so we would have to leave soon and that I would just have to tell him to go back home. Well because I'm not a coldhearted bitch like that, I refused. So what did she do? She went home by herself while the rest of us had a good time.

When I woke up this morning, I put a stop to the wish list items she wanted and I returned the money to those who had donated to the vacation fund. When you guys send me things, I want you to do it because you feel like I'm being a deserving Mistress....not because I want to please my psychotic mother. If you were to send me to the Bahamas, I would want to go by myself (or with a significant other) to relax...not with my mom so she can throw tantrums the whole time.

Again, I apologize to all of my slaves for my recently clouded judgment. I moved back into my grandparents' house today, so I'll be back to my normal Domme self.