The Early Days

I remember those early days of being a sub very clearly. The first time I was spanked, bitten, handcuffed, and even choked. Those were some of the best days of my life. But life changes, as we all know too well. Growing up, I had submissive tendencies in the “vanilla world.” I always obeyed my family and teachers and never broke any rules. I was always trying to please everyone, and it made me unhappy most of the time. When I was in high school, I was the fat girl. I was constantly getting picked on and tormented by the popular kids. Everything I did and said was scrutinized. It made me feel terrible to be walked on, humiliated, and degraded.

My first spark of interest in the sexual side of things came from watching porn. A few scenes of watching women being handcuffed and spanked and I was hooked. When I started having my first sexual experiences when I was 18, it was all submissive. Biting, spanking, hair pulling, handcuffs, choking…all of it, and I loved every minute of it. It was when I allowed myself to be raped after meeting a guy at the bar back in April of this year that I realized I was done with my submissive tendencies. I knew it was wrong…I mean, hello, it was rape. But I didn’t stop him because I felt I was too inferior.

I started taking control in my relationships. “No, I don’t want to do that.” “Fuck me harder.” “Touch me there.” As minuscule as those phrases may seem, they were the gateway through which this Mistress emerged. Granted I still have that deep fantasy to be tied up while getting eaten out so I have no control, every other submissive aspect of me is gone. Yes, I get shy if I’m around someone I like…but that’s how all girls are, regardless of if they are a sub or a Domme.

Some people call me a fake. They say you can’t switch like that. Well it wasn’t a snap of the finger type of deal. I was a sub for almost three years and then slowly but surely made my way to being a switch, and now to this final journey. Others, my slaves included, declare this change has made me more wicked. They’re right. There are Dommes out there who do this because they hate men for wronging them and get pleasure out of watching them cry. There are Dommes out there who do this because they love having control. I’m both. Part pleasure, part revenge.

Take me or leave me, I am still in control